A commentary circulating online argues that Japan’s declining marriage rates among women may not be about rejecting marriage itself, but rather about refusing to settle for partners they see as below their expectations.
According to the discussion, the percentage of unmarried women in Japan has increased dramatically over the past few decades. In 1980, only about 4% of women remained unmarried, meaning that the overwhelming majority eventually married. Today, that number has climbed to around 23%, roughly one in four women.
Despite the increase, the argument presented is that many of these women do not actually reject marriage outright. Instead, the issue is finding what they consider a suitable partner. The commentary suggests that if an “ideal man” appeared—someone handsome, financially successful, kind, and willing to share responsibilities like housework and childcare—many women who currently say they don’t want marriage would likely reconsider.
From that perspective, the issue is framed less as a rejection of marriage and more as a refusal to compromise on partner standards.
The discussion also references a survey that circulated on social media in Japan in which 72% of women reportedly said they would rather remain single than marry what they described as a “weak man”, meaning someone they perceive as having lower status or income than themselves.
Interestingly, the commentary notes the language used in these discussions. While Japan is frequently described internationally as a male-dominated society, the terminology used in dating discourse sometimes reflects a different dynamic. For example, a low-income unmarried woman is typically just referred to as a woman, while a low-income unmarried man is often labeled a “weak man.”
Another factor highlighted is how technology has changed dating dynamics. In the past, opportunities to meet potential partners were limited to people within one’s immediate social circle or community. As a result, many couples formed relationships simply because the available pool of candidates was small.
With the rise of dating apps and online matchmaking services, however, people now have access to far larger pools of potential partners. This can encourage constant comparison and the feeling that a better match might always be just one swipe away.
According to the argument presented in the commentary, this abundance of options can make some people less willing to compromise in relationships. Rather than marrying someone who is merely “good enough,” more individuals—particularly women in this discussion—may choose to remain single while continuing to search for a partner who meets all of their expectations.
The result, the commentary suggests, is a growing number of people who still value the idea of marriage but are increasingly reluctant to settle for anything less than what they view as an ideal match.
